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HOW I Coach: Part 2

April 11, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance/by MaryOlk

HOW I Coach
Even though I’m a coach who is a cheerleader for positivity and possibility, I know that LIFE IS HARD — it isn’t always sunshine and butterflies and unicorns and rainbows. The old saying April showers bring May flowers is an apt analogy for life and coaching. We all have gray, rainy days and thunderstorms that pop up. Sometimes even seasons filled with them.

My job as a coach is to help you learn how to navigate those uncertain, challenging, rainy days so you can learn and grow from them. Coaching through those grey seasons can evoke transformational change and here’s HOW…

AWARENESS

The starting place in every coaching engagement is self-awareness. Life throws us curve balls that we often exacerbate without even knowing it. Through exploration, self-reflection and some data collection, coaching helps clients discern what are the real challenges and what are the manufactured obstacles; what is it I can control and what can’t I control; what is most important, what is urgent and what can wait.

One of the biggest obstacles for anyone amid any transition is a personal pattern of mental gymnastics that creates stress and negativity making it almost impossible to respond to the challenges of life with strength, resilience and confidence.

Thank goodness for my friend and mentor Rick Carson who pioneered Taming Your Gremlin® over 30 years ago to help us FREE ourselves from the monsters of the mind! His simple, not to be confused with easy, three step process begins with SIMPLY NOTICING how I’m adding to the misery of a current situation. Once I get good at noticing, step two — I can fool around, play with different options to reduce the misery. Step 3 – repeat as needed!

Twenty years later, another friend and mentor, Shirzad Chamine integrated the research findings from neuroscience, cognitive psychology, performance science and positive psychology to create Positive Intelligence (aka PQ) – a simple operating system to help build the mental fitness to respond to challenges with a positive mindset instead of a negative mindset. Guess what – there are three muscles that strengthen our PQ: The Saboteur Interceptor (catching the monsters); Self Command (directing the focus of your mind) and The Sage Perspective (looking without judgment for the opportunity in the challenge.)

ACTION

Once a client gains clarity and awareness, that’s when your coach asks – what are you going to do with that?! Transforming learning into meaningful action is the purpose of every single coaching conversation. And both of the above-mentioned tools are critical in coaching because they integrate AWARENESS with ACTION!

ACCOUNTABILITY

Did you just cringe? Accountability gets overused and abused but in coaching it’s your friend – helping you to stay true to what you want to do. Transformational change only happens when you have some way of calibrating your success.  Accountability is so misunderstood and so critical to lasting change that I wrote a whole other blog post about it!

AWARENESS + ACTION + ACCOUNTABILITY = SUCCESS

That’s my secret formula for HOW I COACH!

Tags: Accountability Partner, Balance, Change, Coaching, Coaching for Women, Executive Coaching, Goal Setting, Leadership, Leadership Coach, Life Balance, Mary Olk, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Personal Strengths, Positive Intelligence, Professional Development, Success
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Challenging. Empathetic. Creative.

My time with Mary has been invaluable.

I began working with Mary at a time when I was approaching a major life change:  I wanted to change my career and re-balance my life. Mary was an incredible accountability partner in helping me navigate, plan, and adapt during this transition, and — most significantly — she helped me get in tune with what I truly want in this next chapter of my life.

Her direct, no-bullshit, empathetic coaching style and her ability to push me beyond my surface responses were critical to helping me take real ownership of my life, career, and relationships. Furthermore, her coaching – especially with the PQ program – has been transformative and has given me the tools to continue growing on my own which is a true treasure.  I am grateful to be in a new place, with new insight and compassion for myself and others.  It’s been an amazing journey–and Mary is an amazing coach!

Jeanne F Testimonial
Jeanne F.Higher Education Executive and Coach

Three Words: Energetic. Challenging. Creative.

Mary is a true “coach’s coach”. I learned so much from her as my supervisor during the coach certification process that I hired her to coach me again…and again…and again. Mary was so effective that I engaged her at several key moments in my career. Our work together was always up-lifting, insightful and action-oriented, and I am grateful for both the wisdom and the kindness she shared with me. Thank you Mary!

Laura Weiss Testimonial
Laura WeissCPCC, PCC

For sales people in general a great coach is an asset because we are forced to deal with negative emotions every day – there is a lot of rejection and fear. The resilience needed to withstand that is greater when you have an asset like Mary.

She helps me think through what is going on. If there is conflict with my values, she helps me articulate what is going on. From that we trade action steps to progress through a challenge, or take on an opportunity. She takes what is within me and helps me make sense of it and create actionable steps.

Mary does not bring a one-size-fits-all approach – this is a customized approach we have worked on over the past four years.

Gabriel-Harren
Gabriel HarrenMinneapolis, Sales Rep and Entrepreneur

THREE WORDS: Professional, Humor, Authentic

Mary’s sense of humor, coupled with her raw authenticity, gave me a huge play ground to be myself and to experiment with letting go of concepts about myself that no longer served me.  Our work was, and continues to be, life-changing.

I send my closest friends and family to Mary when someone needs a coach.  Enough said.  I know you’ll get nothing but excellence when you work with her.

Jane MassengillMaster Certified Coach

I’ve pretty much doubled business over the course of working with her. I know it is tough to attribute it to one single thing, but I know with certainty that she is a part of what has allowed me to do that. And, working with Mary has helped me have much more authentic conversations with people in my life, whether those are people I’m dating, or my relatives, friends or colleagues. She’s helped me get a clear sense of my voice in all those types of relationship.

She has helped me get out of my own way on the goals that really, really matter to me.

Annemarie-Estess
Annemarie EstessSan Francisco, small business owner and coach trainee

I am somebody who needs homework. I need someone to say ‘Do X Y and Z and get back in touch,’ instead of ‘Think about this and we will talk.’ Mary structured things for me in that manner. Otherwise it is easy for me to put things on back burner.

There were two big main issues that Mary and I worked with: I had too much on my plate, and my marriage was blowing up. So we worked on both.

I gained a good sense of not only who I was but trusting that I had the answers, which is really where you want to get to: That you can trust yourself with the way you are feeling and that the decisions you are making are right for you.

Dayle-Quigley
Dayle QuigleyHayward, Wisconsin, emergency room physician

My coaching journey with Mary has been wonderful. She was a sounding board to test ideas, conversations, and dreams about what I want in my career and my personal life. Coaching with her helped me grow into a stronger leader and find my voice to speak up for myself. Coach Mary helped me gain the confidence and skills to self-advocate and ask for what I deserve from my superiors. This was the catalyst for opening doors to a new career role that is a wonderful fit for me, a role that I didn’t even know was an option when I began.

Leslie S - Testimonial for Mary Olk
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Rick CarsonDallas, Author, Taming Your Gremlin® and A Master Class in Gremlin-Taming®
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My Work as Coach: Part 1My Work as Coach- Part 1Who I Coach Part 3Who I Coach: Part 3
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