Balance Archives - Coach Mary Olk

Five Practical Tips for Getting Stuff Done

April 3, 2023/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

Do you find yourself in a whirlwind – so many things to do and it doesn’t seem as though you are getting anything done? That’s when I can get cranky, irritable, and out of sorts. And that mood burns up any creative, productive energy that I really need to get things done!

What helps to refresh and reset? Here’s a few tried and true tips to consider:

Chunk it down.

MAKE A LIST: Instead of a project list, make a list of tasks. Then break that TO-DO list down even more into SIMPLE, BASIC, EASY action items! Some people start with the easiest items to build momentum. Others choose the hardest items to get them out of the way and free up the day!
SET A TIME FOCUS: What do I need to do this week? Or this day? Hour? In the next 5 minutes? Choose an action step that can be completed in that time frame.
DAILY 3 COMMITMENT LIST: Each day choose 3 items from your “TO DO” list that you are 100% certain you will complete today. Don’t add anything to your list until all 3 items are complete.

Saying YES means that you are saying NO.

As you say YES, consider the ripple effects. What will choose to say NO to when you say YES?
CREATE a Not-Doing-Now List as a parking lot for the NO, NOT YET items.

Do only one thing at a time. STOP MULTITASKING!

When your mind strays or another task tempts you: ask “is this intrusion helping with my current task or not?”
If the answer is “no,” park it on your NOT DOING NOW list (see above.)

CELEBRATE every single action step you complete – when you complete it! Do a happy dance, give yourself a high 5 or simply smile. Whatever celebration you chose — Take time to pause and acknowledge YOU DID IT! So often we move from task to task and completely forget what we’ve accomplished. Give your brain this 30 second dopamine bath and you’ll be surprised how much more productive you feel!
Buddy up. Partner with a compassionate, non-judgmental friend/co-worker who wants you to succeed but isn’t attached to any outcome. When the stakes are high and effective, meaningful action is imperative – hire a coach. Compassionate Accountability is remarkably transformative!

What will you experiment with this month? Let me know your results!

Play To Your Strengths

January 19, 2023/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

You can be anything you want, if you just work hard enough.

Hmmm, really?

Most people figure out that “hard work” isn’t always enough to result in major success. I could never be a pro basketball player or ballet dancer no matter HOW hard I worked. And yet this is still a culturally accepted myth that I love turning upside-down!

Research in the field of Strengths Psychology demonstrates that meaningful success comes to those who capitalize on their strengths. Instead of exerting superhuman effort to correct deficiencies and overcome shortcomings (that you will never be good at), how about putting attention and energy towards making the very most of your strengths?

Why labor upstream when you can glide downstream? Go with your flow.

Correcting weaknesses is like trying to swim upstream: The fight against the current will wear you out. It’s difficult – and time-consuming – to make any useful progress.

Instead, change your focus – try playing to your strengths – swim downstream. Your efforts get you further, faster when you can use your natural strengths and abilities. When you’re not drained from battling the current, you might just see a path that gets you OUT of the water and back upstream where you need to be quickly and with energy in reserve. It’s easier to leverage opportunities and accomplish more when you feel strong and engaged!

In the workplace, statistics indicate that only 20% of folks use their strengths daily. That lucky 20% are more efficient, effective and productive. More importantly, they’re happy. When you know and play to your strengths, life bursts with ease and satisfaction even in the face of challenges!

We’re bombarded with a societal message to be balanced; to be well-rounded; to labor at transcending our shortcomings. That sounds like “work hard to become mediocre.” Let go of that mandate and cultivate your strengths.

How does a person cultivate strengths? Glad you asked!

Marcus Buckingham (author of GO, Put Your Strengths to Work) defines strengths as the specific activities that you consistently do well and that energize and invigorate you. To get a better, more personal sense of this definition, try this activity:

Take a moment to think about the last 7 days. Recall the variety of activities you did – professionally and personally. Ask yourself:

> Which activities made me feel ALIVE, POWERFUL, STRONG, CONFIDENT?

> Which ones had me saying…

That was easy!

I can’t wait to do that again!

What a rush!

WOW – that time flew by!

> Once you identify some of the activities that invigorate you, TAKE A CLOSER LOOK. Explore what matters most about these activities so you can begin to uncover your unique constellation of strengths!

Once you have a sense of your strengths, favor them! Stop striving for balance–it’s an illusion. Strive for fullness. Intentionally imbalance your life towards what makes you feel strong. Just imagine what life would be like if EVERYDAY was filled with the activities that made you feel powerful, alive and strong.

Play to your strengths. You won’t have any regrets!

Rewrite of:

https://coacholk.com/2017/10/19/play-to-your-strengths/

https://coacholk.com/2011/08/19/strengths-the-secret-to-a-juicy-life/

Treat Yourself To A Minivacation

July 26, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

Want to join me for a summer vacation? Or as the pandemic made famous – a STAY-CATION – a vacation without leaving home! I love Stay-cations because I don’t need to pack a bag 😂😉

You know how it works: walk away from your office/kitchen, shut off your phone, log off the laptop, and spend at least one hour doing something that gives you joy. Just one hour – take some time away from the routine and do something special that YOU really enjoy.

Need some suggestions?

Sit in the sunshine in your favorite park.
Take yourself out to lunch at a new restaurant.
Visit that local museum or art gallery you have been meaning to get to.
Treat yourself to a meal with someone you haven’t seen in a long time.
Go for a bike ride.
Take a historic walking tour.
Read a cheesy novel.
Rent a scooter, Harley, bike, or segway and roam around town.
Sunbathe (with sunscreen of course!)
Take a nap in the hammock.
Drive the scenic route on your way home.
Play backyard baseball or a pickup game of basketball.
Go see a movie, IN THE THEATER!
Treat yourself to a massage.
Try out a new exercise class.

Don’t wimp out! Make it happen:

PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
Enlist an accountability buddy to do it with! (You can use me!)

So, will you do it? Will you join me and take a mini-vacation this month? If your answer is YES, I WILL, send me a note and share your mini-vacay. Extra credit for sending me pics!

Rewrite of: https://coacholk.com/2012/06/20/mini-summer-vacation/

Gratitude: The Invisible Leadership Skill

May 24, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

These days, it’s common to hear about the importance of gratitude. It has a huge array of benefits. Some of those benefits include making you a happier person, helping you sleep better, lowering your blood pressure, and even strengthening your immune system according to a study by Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D.

Did you know being grateful and showing gratitude is a core component of leadership?

Gratitude is a powerful, invisible leadership skill/capacity that enriches our personal lives – and the lives of the people around us! Think about it. When leaders express genuine appreciation to people around them, those individuals feel seen and heard and appreciated. That gratitude inspires loyalty and determination and naturally creates a culture of appreciation.

And it begins with cultivating gratitude in ourselves.

When leaders practice gratitude as a way of being, they build a positive emotional reserve to draw on when faced with stressful situations, allowing them to be grounded and present. Leaders connected to their internal sense of gratitude – easily share appreciation with the people around them. When that gratitude is naturally and authentically expressed, it cultivates loyalty and goodwill, making individuals, teams and cultures more creative and effective.

When we actively cultivate gratitude, we change companies, communities and neighborhoods. We make the world better and that’s WHY I shower the people I love with love and appreciation.

Here’s a podcast with even more ideas for developing your gratitude capacity!

Embrace gratitude as a way of being (not just something good to do). Really feel it, experience it and share it. You’ll be grateful for the practice.

With grateful appreciation,
Mary

Adapted from: https://coacholk.com/2018/11/12/gratitude-powerful-leadership-skill/

The Results: Part 4

April 26, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

The WHO I coach is perhaps the most inspiring part of my work. AND one more favorite part?! Experiencing the incredible transformations that my clients realize. I am regularly awed by the scope and magnitude of change my clients create and the growth in their capacity for courage, wisdom, resilience, and grace. One of many joys in this work is seeing my clients blossom and succeed.
Last month I shared the incredible success stories and challenges that my clients have navigated through from my perspective as a coach. Now you can hear from the people who truly matter – my clients!
Here’s what my clients have to say about their coaching:

#Sales #rejection #values #actionplan

“For sales people in general a great coach is an asset because we are forced to deal with negative emotions every day – there is a lot of rejection and fear. The resilience needed to withstand that is greater when you have an asset like Mary.
She helps me think through what is going on. If there is conflict with my values, she helps me articulate what is going on. From that we trade action steps to progress through a challenge, or take on an opportunity. She takes what is within me and helps me make sense of it and create actionable steps.
Mary does not bring a one-size-fits-all approach – this is a customized approach we have worked on over the years.” – Gabriel Harren

#empowered

“Mary established trust and empowered connection from the very start, she held me “big” and made me feel that “I can do it”. I left hungry for more – and it was what I truly needed.” – Leonid Frolov

#choices #change

“She rerouted my auto-pilot so instead of following same old road signs – you’re not enough, you’re dumb, you’re ugly, you’re a jerk – she helped me to try different routes. I learned about choices. Not just thinking about possibilities but actually living them.” – L.S.

#happiness #values #change

“The values exercise was the core upon which everything else emerged. Without the explicit listing and discussion of my values, I probably would still be at my old job not knowing why I was so unhappy and what I needed to do about it. The mind-map simply helped me further develop my understanding of my core values (the reflection of who I really am) and to bridge it with my skills, experiences, and actions with the world around me.” – M.M.

#happiness

Coaching with you helped improve my overall sense of well-being. You are a warm, stellar human being with a sharp wit and superior coaching skills! I continue to feel much gratitude for our time together. – P.C.

#accountability #intuition

Mary really supported me. When I was questioning my own confidence she did not let me get away with it. Mary coaches from her heart and intuition. She always held the bar for me higher than I could picture it for myself and pushed me to get there. Mary, to me, is an angel on earth. – Jane

#authenticity #clarity

“Working with Mary has helped me have much more authentic conversations with people in my life, whether those are people I’m dating, or my relatives, friends or colleagues. She’s helped me get a clear sense of my voice in all those types of relationships.” – Annemarie E.

#happiness #challenges

“There were two big main issues that Mary and I worked with: I had too much on my plate, and my marriage was blowing up. So we worked on both.
I gained a good sense of not only who I was but trusting that I had the answers, which is really where you want to get to: That you can trust yourself with the way you are feeling and that the decisions you are making are right for you.” – Dayle Q.

I hope in this month of showers & flowers, that you have an understanding of what I do and why I love it! Maybe you’ve even been inspired to turn your own showers into growth. Or perhaps you thought of someone in your life that could benefit from finding balance instead of burnout. If you know of anyone who is navigating life’s challenges and wants a partner to foster their growth, please do pass on my name. Word of mouth brings me the clients that fit me best and that’s why I appreciate YOU!

May you bloom and grow! 😂☔🌸
Mary

Who I Coach: Part 3

April 20, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

We talked about the WHAT of my coaching work.
You learned about the HOW of my coaching work.
Now let’s get to one of the most inspiring parts: WHO I coach.

My clients are changemakers yearning for balance, not burnout.

Does this describe you?

You’re a “smart cookie” — maybe from book learning but mostly from the school of hard knocks!
You know investing in your own personal growth is critical for success
Living and leading on purpose is important to you
You have the resources (money, time, brainpower, energy, motivation) to dedicate to the change making process
You love to laugh! Yep, you got have a sense of humor and a readiness to experiment and play

Coaching is a partnership. It’s crucial that you find the right person to work with – Someone who fits your style of learning, someone who will challenge you, someone who will inspire you AND hold you accountable with compassion.
If this sounds like you (or someone you know and love) – then I might be the Coach for you! Email me and let’s find out.

HOW I Coach: Part 2

April 11, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

Even though I’m a coach who is a cheerleader for positivity and possibility, I know that LIFE IS HARD — it isn’t always sunshine and butterflies and unicorns and rainbows. The old saying April showers bring May flowers is an apt analogy for life and coaching. We all have gray, rainy days and thunderstorms that pop up. Sometimes even seasons filled with them.

My job as a coach is to help you learn how to navigate those uncertain, challenging, rainy days so you can learn and grow from them. Coaching through those grey seasons can evoke transformational change and here’s HOW…

AWARENESS

The starting place in every coaching engagement is self-awareness. Life throws us curve balls that we often exacerbate without even knowing it. Through exploration, self-reflection and some data collection, coaching helps clients discern what are the real challenges and what are the manufactured obstacles; what is it I can control and what can’t I control; what is most important, what is urgent and what can wait.

One of the biggest obstacles for anyone amid any transition is a personal pattern of mental gymnastics that creates stress and negativity making it almost impossible to respond to the challenges of life with strength, resilience and confidence.

Thank goodness for my friend and mentor Rick Carson who pioneered Taming Your Gremlin® over 30 years ago to help us FREE ourselves from the monsters of the mind! His simple, not to be confused with easy, three step process begins with SIMPLY NOTICING how I’m adding to the misery of a current situation. Once I get good at noticing, step two — I can fool around, play with different options to reduce the misery. Step 3 – repeat as needed!

Twenty years later, another friend and mentor, Shirzad Chamine integrated the research findings from neuroscience, cognitive psychology, performance science and positive psychology to create Positive Intelligence (aka PQ) – a simple operating system to help build the mental fitness to respond to challenges with a positive mindset instead of a negative mindset. Guess what – there are three muscles that strengthen our PQ: The Saboteur Interceptor (catching the monsters); Self Command (directing the focus of your mind) and The Sage Perspective (looking without judgment for the opportunity in the challenge.)

ACTION

Once a client gains clarity and awareness, that’s when your coach asks – what are you going to do with that?! Transforming learning into meaningful action is the purpose of every single coaching conversation. And both of the above-mentioned tools are critical in coaching because they integrate AWARENESS with ACTION!

ACCOUNTABILITY

Did you just cringe? Accountability gets overused and abused but in coaching it’s your friend – helping you to stay true to what you want to do. Transformational change only happens when you have some way of calibrating your success. Accountability is so misunderstood and so critical to lasting change that I wrote a whole other blog post about it!

AWARENESS + ACTION + ACCOUNTABILITY = SUCCESS

That’s my secret formula for HOW I COACH!

My Work as Coach: Part 1

March 31, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

My April theme of the month is Showers and Flowers. This month always gets me thinking about the powerful transformation that happens between April showers and May flowers. Those gloomy, rainy days create the bursting blossoms of Spring. And these Spring words of change, transformation, blossoming, and growing are so rooted in what I do as a coach, I thought it would be a perfect time to share about my work. The what, the how and the who. Today I’m going to dive into what I do.

To me, coaching is a partnership with my client dedicated to EVOKING transformation – yep, instigating great big, lasting change.

Clients usually hire me because they’re at a significant transition point in their career and/or in their personal life. Sometimes they’re stuck in a rut. Or perhaps they’re stepping into a brand new, big-gulp challenge and want to do their best. And sometimes they’ve arrived at an important milestone and aren’t sure what the next leg of the journey entails.

Coaching gets my clients through these transitions “FASTER, HIGHER, STRONGER – Together.” Ok – I borrowed that from the Olympics. My clients would navigate these transitions without me or coaching but in partnership with a coach, the transitions are smoother and the results are better than either one of us would imagine. A coach is a powerful, collaborative accountability partner who helps clients harness their naturally creative energy to move through the flux & uncertainty to create deep awareness AND powerful, confident action.

Here are the cornerstones of the Co-Active Model of coaching that are at the heart of every single coaching engagement:

#1. EVERYONE is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. Nothing is broken or needs fixing. People have the resources to naturally resolve the challenges they encounter. Coaching helps clients discover, recover and make the most of all available resources.

#2. Coaching addresses the WHOLE person. Every aspect of a person’s life is fundamental to creating lasting.transformational change. Professional & personal facets; strengths & weaknesses; body, mind, & spirit; past, present, & future experiences – everything is considered.

#3. Every moment contains an opportunity for learning and growth – use this moment!

#4. The purpose of every coaching engagement is to EVOKE transformation. Yep, it’s my job to provoke and instill lasting, sustainable change.

This is a small segment of the Co-Active Model that is central to my coaching approach. I hope it gives you a little peek into my coaching philosophy and the work I do with clients.

PQ: My Newest Tool for Mental Fitness

January 6, 2022/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

We’re in an auspicious time – the beginning of a brand-new year! Hopefully you’ve crafted a fresh set of intentions, goals, and/or resolutions to inspire and support you in 2022.

Did you put YOU at the top of that list? No doubt you want to bring the best of yourself to your challenges, circumstances, and relationships this year.

So often we bring our worst – not our best – to our goals and intentions. We inadvertently add stress through our own negative mental machinations. Anybody else worry, fret, ruminate about what could happen or what did happen or what might never happen?! GUILTY!

So how do we meet the challenges of life and work starting with our best — confident and resourceful?

You’ve gotta start with your mental fitness.
It’s the foundation for success in every aspect of your life.

The Positive Intelligence (PQ) program is the newest addition to my life AND my coaching toolbox! With PQ, you learn to strengthen your Sage (your authentic, natural, creative self) and quiet your nasty Saboteurs (those judgmental internal critics lurking in your brainy brain) through daily practice. PQ integrates all of the effective tools and techniques I used with my clients over the last 20 years. Even better, it’s built on research from neuroscience, cognitive behavioral psychology, performance science and positive psychology! Of course, the best part of the program is the App that makes it super easy to build your mental fitness muscles EVERY DAY!

This program has made a huge impact on my own life. I’m more grounded, open and resilient. I spend less and less time in negative spirals in my mind. I have a more positive outlook and challenges are tricky but not stressful. I’m less cranky overall – just ask my family!

In the spirit of my theme of the month – everything is new – I wanted you to know that the PQ program is the new, exciting part of ALL of my coaching engagements. Stay tuned — there’s more to come in 2022!

If you want to strengthen your mental fitness to effectively and confidently accomplish your 2022 goals, send me a message!

Questions, comments, suggestions? Comment below!

Yahoo/Boo-hoo/Ah-ha!

November 29, 2021/0 Comments/in Balance /by MaryOlk

I love December. It’s a month of contrasts. There is the frenzied energy of year-end activities and holiday celebrations. And then because we only have 6 hours of daylight — there is the quiet energy of HIBERNATING — tucking in under a warm blanket with a mug of hot cocoa for a low key evening.

And then there’s the YAHOO/BOO HOO/AH-HA activity I do with my coaching clients.

Here’s how it goes:

We start with YAHOO: exploring all the things that were good about the year: accomplishments, achievements, and good times.

Then we visit BOO HOO: the disappointments, things that didn’t get done, and the tough moments.

We wrap up with AH-HA: capturing the important nuggets of learning from the year.

Most of the time, at the end of this activity, my clients create a simple ritual for saying Good Bye/Farewell to this year. (Tossing the list in the fireplace/fire pit is my personal fave!)

I love doing this activity with my clients and for myself. It wraps up the year so that we start the New Year fresh. Want to give it a try? CLICK HERE for the worksheet that will walk you through the activity. I hope you like it!

Warmly – with hot cocoa and marshmallows,

Mary