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Play To Your Strengths

Play To Your Strengths

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Play To Your Strengths

You can be anything you want, if you just work hard enough.

Hmmm, really?

Most people figure out that “hard work” isn’t always enough to result in major success. I could never be a pro basketball player or ballet dancer no matter HOW hard I worked. And yet this is still a culturally accepted myth that I love turning upside-down!

Research in the field of Strengths Psychology demonstrates that meaningful success comes to those who capitalize on their strengths. Instead of exerting superhuman effort to correct deficiencies and overcome shortcomings (that you will never be good at), how about putting attention and energy towards making the very most of your strengths?

Why labor upstream when you can glide downstream? Go with your flow.

Correcting weaknesses is like trying to swim upstream: The fight against the current will wear you out. It’s difficult – and time-consuming – to make any useful progress.

Instead, change your focus – try playing to your strengths – swim downstream. Your efforts get you further, faster when you can use your natural strengths and abilities.  When you’re not drained from battling the current, you might just see a path that gets you OUT of the water and back upstream where you need to be quickly and with energy in reserve. It’s easier to leverage opportunities and accomplish more when you feel strong and engaged!

In the workplace, statistics indicate that only 20% of folks use their strengths daily. That lucky 20% are more efficient, effective and productive. More importantly, they’re happy. When you know and play to your strengths, life bursts with ease and satisfaction even in the face of challenges!

We’re bombarded with a societal message to be balanced; to be well-rounded; to labor at transcending our shortcomings. That sounds like “work hard to become mediocre.” Let go of that mandate and cultivate your strengths.

How does a person cultivate strengths? Glad you asked!

Marcus Buckingham (author of GO, Put Your Strengths to Work) defines strengths as the specific activities that you consistently do well and that energize and invigorate you. To get a better, more personal sense of this definition, try this activity:

Take a moment to think about the last 7 days. Recall the variety of activities you did – professionally and personally. Ask yourself:

> Which activities made me feel ALIVE, POWERFUL, STRONG, CONFIDENT?

> Which ones had me saying…

That was easy!

I can’t wait to do that again!

What a rush!

WOW – that time flew by!

> Once you identify some of the activities that invigorate you, TAKE A CLOSER LOOK. Explore what matters most about these activities so you can begin to uncover your unique constellation of strengths!

Once you have a sense of your strengths, favor them! Stop striving for balance–it’s an illusion. Strive for fullness. Intentionally imbalance your life towards what makes you feel strong. Just imagine what life would be like if EVERYDAY was filled with the activities that made you feel powerful, alive and strong.

Play to your strengths. You won’t have any regrets!

Rewrite of: 

https://coacholk.com/2017/10/19/play-to-your-strengths/

https://coacholk.com/2011/08/19/strengths-the-secret-to-a-juicy-life/

Treat Yourself To A Minivacation

Treat Yourself To A Minivacation

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Treat Yourself To A Minivacation

Want to join me for a summer vacation? Or as the pandemic made famous – a STAY-CATION – a vacation without leaving home! I love Stay-cations because I don’t need to pack a bag 😂😉

You know how it works: walk away from your office/kitchen, shut off your phone, log off the laptop, and spend at least one hour doing something that gives you joy. Just one hour – take some time away from the routine and do something special that YOU really enjoy.

Need some suggestions?

  • Sit in the sunshine in your favorite park.
  • Take yourself out to lunch at a new restaurant.
  • Visit that local museum or art gallery you have been meaning to get to.
  • Treat yourself to a meal with someone you haven’t seen in a long time.
  • Go for a bike ride.
  • Take a historic walking tour.
  • Read a cheesy novel.
  • Rent a scooter, Harley, bike, or segway and roam around town.
  • Sunbathe (with sunscreen of course!)
  • Take a nap in the hammock.
  • Drive the scenic route on your way home.
  • Play backyard baseball or a pickup game of basketball.
  • Go see a movie, IN THE THEATER!
  • Treat yourself to a massage.
  • Try out a new exercise class.

Don’t wimp out! Make it happen:

  • PUT IT ON YOUR CALENDAR
  • Enlist an accountability buddy to do it with! (You can use me!)

So, will you do it? Will you join me and take a mini-vacation this month? If your answer is YES, I WILL, send me a note and share your mini-vacay. Extra credit for sending me pics!

Rewrite of: https://coacholk.com/2012/06/20/mini-summer-vacation/

Gratitude: The Invisible Leadership Skill

Gratitude: The Invisible Leadership Skill

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Gratitude: The Invisible Leadership Skill

These days, it’s common to hear about the importance of gratitude. It has a huge array of benefits. Some of those benefits include making you a happier person, helping you sleep better, lowering your blood pressure, and even strengthening your immune system according to a study by Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D.

Did you know being grateful and showing gratitude is a core component of leadership?

Gratitude is a powerful, invisible leadership skill/capacity that enriches our personal lives – and the lives of the people around us! Think about it. When leaders express genuine appreciation to people around them, those individuals feel seen and heard and appreciated. That gratitude inspires loyalty and determination and naturally creates a culture of appreciation.

And it begins with cultivating gratitude in ourselves.

When leaders practice gratitude as a way of being, they build a positive emotional reserve to draw on when faced with stressful situations, allowing them to be grounded and present. Leaders connected to their internal sense of gratitude – easily share appreciation with the people around them. When that gratitude is naturally and authentically expressed, it cultivates loyalty and goodwill, making individuals, teams and cultures more creative and effective.

When we actively cultivate gratitude, we change companies, communities and neighborhoods. We make the world better and that’s WHY I shower the people I love with love and appreciation.

Here’s a podcast with even more ideas for developing your gratitude capacity!

Embrace gratitude as a way of being (not just something good to do). Really feel it, experience it and share it. You’ll be grateful for the practice.

With grateful appreciation,
Mary

Adapted from: https://coacholk.com/2018/11/12/gratitude-powerful-leadership-skill/

The Results Part 4

The Results: Part 4

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The Results Part 4

The WHO I coach is perhaps the most inspiring part of my work. AND one more favorite part?! Experiencing the incredible transformations that my clients realize. I am regularly awed by the scope and magnitude of change my clients create and the growth in their capacity for courage, wisdom, resilience, and grace. One of many joys in this work is seeing my clients blossom and succeed.
Last month I shared the incredible success stories and challenges that my clients have navigated through from my perspective as a coach. Now you can hear from the people who truly matter – my clients!
Here’s what my clients have to say about their coaching:

#Sales #rejection #values #actionplan

“For sales people in general a great coach is an asset because we are forced to deal with negative emotions every day – there is a lot of rejection and fear. The resilience needed to withstand that is greater when you have an asset like Mary.
She helps me think through what is going on. If there is conflict with my values, she helps me articulate what is going on. From that we trade action steps to progress through a challenge, or take on an opportunity. She takes what is within me and helps me make sense of it and create actionable steps.
Mary does not bring a one-size-fits-all approach – this is a customized approach we have worked on over the years.” – Gabriel Harren

#empowered

“Mary established trust and empowered connection from the very start, she held me “big” and made me feel that “I can do it”. I left hungry for more – and it was what I truly needed.” – Leonid Frolov

#choices #change

“She rerouted my auto-pilot so instead of following same old road signs – you’re not enough, you’re dumb, you’re ugly, you’re a jerk – she helped me to try different routes. I learned about choices. Not just thinking about possibilities but actually living them.” – L.S.

#happiness #values #change

“The values exercise was the core upon which everything else emerged. Without the explicit listing and discussion of my values, I probably would still be at my old job not knowing why I was so unhappy and what I needed to do about it. The mind-map simply helped me further develop my understanding of my core values (the reflection of who I really am) and to bridge it with my skills, experiences, and actions with the world around me.” – M.M.

#happiness

Coaching with you helped improve my overall sense of well-being. You are a warm, stellar human being with a sharp wit and superior coaching skills! I continue to feel much gratitude for our time together. – P.C.

#accountability #intuition

Mary really supported me. When I was questioning my own confidence she did not let me get away with it. Mary coaches from her heart and intuition. She always held the bar for me higher than I could picture it for myself and pushed me to get there. Mary, to me, is an angel on earth. – Jane

#authenticity #clarity

“Working with Mary has helped me have much more authentic conversations with people in my life, whether those are people I’m dating, or my relatives, friends or colleagues. She’s helped me get a clear sense of my voice in all those types of relationships.” – Annemarie E.

#happiness #challenges

“There were two big main issues that Mary and I worked with: I had too much on my plate, and my marriage was blowing up. So we worked on both.
I gained a good sense of not only who I was but trusting that I had the answers, which is really where you want to get to: That you can trust yourself with the way you are feeling and that the decisions you are making are right for you.” – Dayle Q.

I hope in this month of showers & flowers, that you have an understanding of what I do and why I love it! Maybe you’ve even been inspired to turn your own showers into growth. Or perhaps you thought of someone in your life that could benefit from finding balance instead of burnout. If you know of anyone who is navigating life’s challenges and wants a partner to foster their growth, please do pass on my name. Word of mouth brings me the clients that fit me best and that’s why I appreciate YOU!

May you bloom and grow! 😂☔🌸
Mary

Who I Coach Part 3

Who I Coach: Part 3

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Who I Coach Part 3

We talked about the WHAT of my coaching work.
You learned about the HOW of my coaching work.
Now let’s get to one of the most inspiring parts: WHO I coach.

My clients are changemakers yearning for balance, not burnout.

Does this describe you?

  • You’re a “smart cookie” — maybe from book learning but mostly from the school of hard knocks!
  • You know investing in your own personal growth is critical for success
  • Living and leading on purpose is important to you
  • You have the resources (money, time, brainpower, energy, motivation) to dedicate to the change making process
  • You love to laugh! Yep, you got have a sense of humor and a readiness to experiment and play

Coaching is a partnership. It’s crucial that you find the right person to work with – Someone who fits your style of learning, someone who will challenge you, someone who will inspire you AND hold you accountable with compassion.
If this sounds like you (or someone you know and love) – then I might be the Coach for you! Email me and let’s find out.

HOW I Coach

HOW I Coach: Part 2

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HOW I Coach
Even though I’m a coach who is a cheerleader for positivity and possibility, I know that LIFE IS HARD — it isn’t always sunshine and butterflies and unicorns and rainbows. The old saying April showers bring May flowers is an apt analogy for life and coaching. We all have gray, rainy days and thunderstorms that pop up. Sometimes even seasons filled with them.

My job as a coach is to help you learn how to navigate those uncertain, challenging, rainy days so you can learn and grow from them. Coaching through those grey seasons can evoke transformational change and here’s HOW…

AWARENESS

The starting place in every coaching engagement is self-awareness. Life throws us curve balls that we often exacerbate without even knowing it. Through exploration, self-reflection and some data collection, coaching helps clients discern what are the real challenges and what are the manufactured obstacles; what is it I can control and what can’t I control; what is most important, what is urgent and what can wait.

One of the biggest obstacles for anyone amid any transition is a personal pattern of mental gymnastics that creates stress and negativity making it almost impossible to respond to the challenges of life with strength, resilience and confidence.

Thank goodness for my friend and mentor Rick Carson who pioneered Taming Your Gremlin® over 30 years ago to help us FREE ourselves from the monsters of the mind! His simple, not to be confused with easy, three step process begins with SIMPLY NOTICING how I’m adding to the misery of a current situation. Once I get good at noticing, step two — I can fool around, play with different options to reduce the misery. Step 3 – repeat as needed!

Twenty years later, another friend and mentor, Shirzad Chamine integrated the research findings from neuroscience, cognitive psychology, performance science and positive psychology to create Positive Intelligence (aka PQ) – a simple operating system to help build the mental fitness to respond to challenges with a positive mindset instead of a negative mindset. Guess what – there are three muscles that strengthen our PQ: The Saboteur Interceptor (catching the monsters); Self Command (directing the focus of your mind) and The Sage Perspective (looking without judgment for the opportunity in the challenge.)

ACTION

Once a client gains clarity and awareness, that’s when your coach asks – what are you going to do with that?! Transforming learning into meaningful action is the purpose of every single coaching conversation. And both of the above-mentioned tools are critical in coaching because they integrate AWARENESS with ACTION!

ACCOUNTABILITY

Did you just cringe? Accountability gets overused and abused but in coaching it’s your friend – helping you to stay true to what you want to do. Transformational change only happens when you have some way of calibrating your success.  Accountability is so misunderstood and so critical to lasting change that I wrote a whole other blog post about it!

AWARENESS + ACTION + ACCOUNTABILITY = SUCCESS

That’s my secret formula for HOW I COACH!

Play to Your Strengths

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You can be anything you want, if you just work hard enough.

Hmmm, really? Ballet dancer, opera singer, nuclear physicist–are those pursuits really available to anyone and everyone?

Not many people buy that cultural myth anymore BUT underdog stories of triumph over adversity are still captivating. The research in the field of Strengths Psychology suggests that the real triumph comes to those who capitalize on their strengths. Instead of employing superhuman effort to correct deficiencies and overcome shortcomings, how about putting attention and energy towards making the very most of your strengths?

Why labor upstream when you can glide downstream?

Correcting weaknesses is like trying to swim upstream: The fight against the current will wear you out, and you simply can’t make good progress. Try playing to your strengths, and you’ll know you’re swimming downstream, your efforts boosted with ease by your natural gifts. There’s no stopping you!

When you play to your strengths, it’s naturally easier to accomplish more

In the workplace, statistics indicate that only 20% of folks use their strengths daily. That lucky 20% are more efficient, effective and productive. Most importantly, they’re happy. When you know and play to your strengths, life bursts with ease and satisfaction!

Cultivating strengths takes less effort and brings far greater results

We’re bombarded with a societal message to be balanced; to be well-rounded; to labor at transcending our shortcomings. Let go of that mandate and cultivate your strengths:

  • Stop agonizing over what you don’t have: Celebrate what you DO have.
  • Discover the role you were born to play and realize the ease and zest fulfilling it.
  • Don’t strive for balance–it’s an illusion anyway. Strive for fullness. Intentionally imbalance your life towards what makes you feel strong.
  • Always sweat the small stuff: Know and act on the specific details of what invigorates you.

How will you play to your strengths today?

Mary